During my workout yesterday, I was struggling to complete my workout in the midst of all that humidity and POW…revelation hit me.
Let me back up for a minute. I have been asking God to reveal to me what lesson I was supposed to learn from this latest transition in my life and for the past few weeks, I THOUGHT I had the answer. That is, until yesterday and during my workout no less.
Througout my early years of life and sadly, even throughout my college years, I did not think so highly of myself. I had MAJOR self-esteem issues. To hear stories now where people said that I was “stuck up” actually make me laugh because little do people know I was “suffering” in silence. It wasn’t until in my 20’s that I began to see my value and self-worth and even then it was still a struggle for me. In my 30’s, I felt like I had a good grip on who I was and my value and that I had a healthy dose of self-esteem…not too little and for the most part, not too much (inside joke).
As I began to climb up and down and then back up again, the career ladder, I finally felt that I was at a great place in my career. Someone had finally seen the value I added to their organization. So, I uprooted my life, separated from my oldest two kids and set off to to begin my “new” life. For the first nine months or so, things were great. I was beginning to get my “sea legs” under me and it seemed to be smooth sailing. Until…
While I won’t go into all of the details of what happened, let’s just say, I thought that my position was stable (even though I knew the reality). I was very good at what I did and because no one had the level of training that I did for the position, I thought that I was “invincible”, i.e. “too big for my britches”.
The origin of the phrase “too big for your britches” dates back to the 1800’s. The phrase means that your assumed position is slightly larger than the actual position you are in. Wow, God, really? Is this what I was missing? So, now what?
Losing my job has really taught me how to “trim the fat” physically, emotionally, financially, etc. I’ve been literally stripped of everything during this process. I know now why. I had to “lose the weight” in order to fit into the “britches” that actually belonged to me and that were tailored made just for me by God.
This lesson (and God’s methods of teaching me the lesson) has been a tough pill to swallow. I’ve had some really low points and there have been times when I’ve literally seen the Hand of God in action in my life. I will admit, it took me a minute to get out of myself and my emotions, but once I did, then the lesson(s) began to unfold.
The lessons that I have learned and will continue to learn are setting me up for my next position. This time, I will wear the right size “britches”.