It’s been a minute since I’ve taken the time or had the time to really just put words to all that is swirling around in my head. Sure, I journal and that will never change, but the act of writing with the intended purpose that someone else is reading your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, takes a little bit more of a dedicated effort.
So much has changed since my last blog and I know more change is on the horizon. I’m strengthening my emotional and spiritual “muscles” in order to be better prepared for the change that is horizon.
About a week ago, I made a decision that while it had been in the back of mind, I had no idea that I would ACTUALLY do. After agonizing over the decision for almost six months, it wasn’t had gut wrenching as I thought. It was just that…a decision. I made it with confidence…fully knowing with the “consequence” was on the other side of the decision, and I have not regretted the decision for one minute.
As a verb, change means to make or become different. This means that change is a working, living, breathing thing. It also its not something that should be looked at from a negative stance, but one that shows that you were made and built for this. Sometimes, change is planned and sometimes change happens to us. Whatever, the case, when we operate from an ideology that change is inevitable, it will allow for us to view change from a different lens.
Since the decision, I can honestly say that I’ve felt lighter and that a “weight” has been removed. I cannot remember the last time that I’ve allowed myself to just be .This change, while a good one, has me in a holding pattern. However for the first time, the holding pattern doesn’t feel like a noose around my neck…suffocating me…not allowing me to breathe. I am open to the possibilities of what this decision affords me, but it will take work. Yes, ACTIVE engagement in the process. So, while I wait, I plan, I prepare, and I pray.
I’ll MAKE time to do the things that fundamentally make me.. me During this change, I will push myself like never before to be a better friend, mother, sister, and person (yes, to #myperson, as well). I will laugh a lot more and love from a place like I’ve never loved before, well, because change is not just for me, it’s for those that are around me and in my circle of influence.
If you’ll allow me to, I hope to share my “journey” with you.
As always, leave your comments, feedback and thoughts in the comments section.